The key isn't to blame the others for their actions, it's about being aware of how you influenced and allowed the situation to unravel and unfold to what it is -your role... it's about ownership and responsibility of your actions or non-actions while still holding others accountable for theirs. 

Because you have no control over what others do or don't, but you do however have control over you, and you have a responsibility to yourself to be better and do better. And if you don't take ownership, and truly accept, it will continue... and you will find yourself right back where you started, yet to grasp the lesson the first time around. Hence the importance of knowing the self as the onus on you and only you. 

And no matter what the situation -no matter if and how you were wronged, mistreated and disrespected you allowed and that's on you -it was a choice. Whether consciously or subconsciously, you choose to stick around for it whether you like to hear it or not. 

Doing nothing is still doing something. 

As there is a reason why we are where we are and only we have the answers to that... we just have to be willing to see our truth... most importantly accept it, so that we can grow from it and do better next time. And that is really what healing is all about, it's not just about mending what was lost or broken, but rather understanding it.