So here is the thing... in today's world, it is all about putting on mask, more than ever before. Social media just taken over in ways that are irreversible... the why in which we function and operate... the way in which we communicate and interact. It's impacted on psychological levels in more ways than one, and though, it has given us opportunity it has also masked us.

For some it allows them to be themselves, for others it offers to opportunity to build themselves, in which vary few are authentic with... in other words, some build solely on the reason of wanting to be seen, but for meaningless purpose. In the sense of just to be known to be known.

And the thing is, some will do whatever it takes to be known... and I mean that's amazing! It's incredible to be able to step in that power... putting on different masks. The problem for me is, I've always put on masks, sat in inauthenticity and rebelled with self-infliction, so for me it's battle.

Because in today's world you need to put on those masks, and share those moments... and I mean, I'm already putting on the mask haha... and now I have to share it... maybe do a little dance, so people watch it... haha.

What I mean is nowadays it's all about putting on a show, and I'm tired of putting on show... it's been the story of my life. Being what everyone needed of me... but I guess the difference now is that it's my show -authentic to me. I guess that's why part of me feels so strongly about being and doing in the moment... do what is authentic to who I am. And not what is expected.

Don't fake it until you make it... be real until you make it, because there is reason as to why. Be in tune and be true to that tune, and with time you will come to understand later. And that doesn't mean don't push yourself, definitely push. But do so, being true to you.

So the thing is, putting on that show isn't authentic to me... doing things just to be seen. I've always been seen... I've always been known... but I've never been understood. Never been seen for who it is I am, always been about everyone else. And for once, I want to be acknowledged for me. And that is something entirely different... in this world of influencers. I don't care for the fame... I want is the recognition. Merit. Purposeful.

Problem is, nowadays you can't seem to receive recognition on merit without being front and center. Without putting yourself out there. Everything almost needing some sort of publication... social documentation. And as much as I don't want to share myself with the world, there is such a sense of resistance I feel from the universe when I don't. For nothing ever works when I'm behind the scenes, it only ever works when I'm front and center.

And that's the battle. Wanting to be hidden but needing to be seen... funny how the universe works?! Forcing growth through discomfort... as it is the only means to give you exactly what you want.

Never on your terms... and that's kind of beautiful. Pushing you to be exactly who you were meant to be. And who you're meant to be is never someone restricted... but rather someone free and authentic. So no shows, just me. Front and center. Fighting the battle... sharing me and who it is I am.