Proof Of Self

Over the past year, I’ve realized that all I ever been doing is surviving. There hasn’t been a moment where it hasn’t been the case. And it is almost as though you don’t know how live without that being the case. Your body, your mind doesn’t know safety. All it knows is fight or flight. And as much as you try to maintain peace outside of yourself, there always seems to be a war inside.

Because as you do for others, extending your consideration by means of your humanity, you lose yourself. Realizing that no one really truly sees all that it costs you, whether it’s material or not, most too caught up in their version of survival, they neglect to acknowledge the struggle. And the more, you fight and prove, the more you come to realize that your ability to overcome is no longer worth validating through witnessing of others, but rather it is proof of self. In that, you can in fact make it through anything and it really doesn’t matter of others acknowledge. What matters is that you know you can.

And then the question becomes… do you have too?

For life isn’t about surviving… it’s about evolving and growing. And knowing you can survive all, doesn’t mean you have to deal with all. There comes a point, when you acknowledge your resilience and determination, grit and your strength, and opt in for less. Less struggle… less survival. Because at some point the battle needs to come to an end… or else why would you have pushed so hard in the face of adversities?! Was it to forever be in a loop of proving your worth, to never truly enjoy it? Or was it the escape that which keeps you in repeat?

Because once you have the skill, the tools in your toolbox, is there really anything to prove?! Because so long as you know it, does really matter if anyone does?! And if you have to prove yourself, at what point do you stop and realize that no matter what or how much you do, it won’t ever be enough?!

To spend our lives overextending ourselves is a misuse of self -the signification of the lack of wisdom who has gained. As there isn’t a need to work harder, but rather a need to work smarter. And should we know what it is we are capable of, there shouldn’t be a need to flex.

Yet, so many of us spend our lives trying to juggle to prove worthiness, in hopes for recognition. Recognition that might never come. And the most ironic part is only and always comes when we are no longer juggling… but rather standing in the conviction that should you need you can, but you choose not too, simply because you don’t have too…

And that is a powerful thing…