There has been times that you have wanted to walk away, but you can’t, and the times that you have told yourself ‘done’, it rattles your brain for days -you become restless; for you have put more effort into something like this than ever before, but you rather work for it, then give up and walk away. Because, it is different this time around, it’s like you are a kid again, overwhelmed with emotion and no idea where to put it, you act weird, so out of character, but yet it’s you – nervous, wondering where you stand. There are times they show you they care and there are times that make you question as to what it is they actually care about. There are days when they are there, then days that they aren’t, days that they message you and it brings the biggest smile to your face, but then days where they are no where to be found.

They neglect to realize the impact that have on you, which makes you question as to whether or not you are doing enough? If you are enough?! You become so confused, you have no idea what it is they want from you. The thing is you don’t question as to whether it is good or bad, rather you question whether or not they know what they want. All of it has you questioning as to whether or not they are on the same boat, you don’t want to ask, so you observe. Almost as if you sit from a far while up close and personal, deciphering through their behaviour as to where they are at. It isn’t easy with them, they challenge you in all the right ways -it’s scary. There so much to say and yet nothing is said at all, for you are lost for words.

For it’s been so easy to let things go, to stay focused and not allow anything or anyone in, keeping you’re eye on the prize. For your visors have been able to withstand so much, block everything out until this moment, as if there is something to be taken from it, or someone. Because, there are something great there, a glimpse at a side something that not many see, a side that takes time to unravel. Something that ought not to be ignored, someone that should indefinitely stay, for there is just something that just speaks to you.

There is just something, something about their soul that draws you, something about their presence that you lose yourself, yet you feel completely at peace, like nothing else matters -just them. You have so much going on, and yet every time you’re with them the world turns off, you focus on them, you want them so close to you, you don’t dare share them with anyone – you become selfish in a way. Unexpectedly twisted. Not in a psycho kind of way, rather in the essence of appreciation, being in the moment, truly present without distractions. For you want to get to know them on a deeper level, vibe with them and let things flow, and see where that takes things. The thing is you are so nervous about it, about them -you don’t know where they stand. And, all you can do is have… Patience. Let your soul guide you..