Why?!

My biggest question is ‘Why?’ Everything happens for a reason, right?! So, why? It’s always why… and we never know until the time comes to witness the results. But we are all so impatient, I know I am… I just want to know. And don’t take it as though I’m a psycho, because really I’m not, I definitely don’t go investigating… that shit don’t pay me. But I inquire… inquire in sense of soul. Receptive to the reactions, facial expressions, body movements, language, words… everything, but the ‘act’… don’t get me wrong, I have bought into the ‘act’, but that doesn’t mean I’m unaware of the ‘act’. I just tolerate it, and for a multitude of reasons, sometimes it’s insecurities and other times it’s false hope, but that’s another story.

The ‘act’ is the mask… the face… we put on, the way in which we want others to see us… perceive us. Whether strong or weak, bold or timid… we conceal and it’s everything that we ‘don’t show’ that tells all… essentially giving you the answer to your why. It’s what’s between lines that matters most… that reveals all. And it’s always such a gamble, as you have to rely on your instincts, your gut, to decipher and distinguish what is what. And sometimes you are more receptive than others, with others, to others.

But where I find the problem is ourselves… it’s so easy to strip others of their ‘act’, but ourselves… we seem to think we don’t have one, like we’re special or something… and hunni, you special, but you still got that shit. Don’t get it twisted. And so my why is left hanging when it comes to me. I question myself, as though I’m questioning others… connecting the dots between it all. But again… the ‘act’, it’s so good that we fool ourselves, we don’t see pass it, especially when it comes to internal reflection… our deflectors are full force. And the thing is… what is at the root, is gold… I mean fucking gold… it is the key that unlocks everything.

Why am I avoiding shit? Tolerating nonsense?
Why do I feed into one thing over another? Feel… think… one way as oppose to another?

It’s all self dscovery… and those ‘why’s’ are the most important why you will ever answer in your life.